Have you ever experienced a moment where your realities collide and form such pure union that you are moved beyond tears?
I had this experience recently after receiving a reading from my Astrologer and dear friend Martin Stock. Every time I see him he has the ability to bring forward clear truths that I need to honor, in a gentle brutal sort of way. In doing so I am able to align deeper with my soul. "Live life with and open heart" he said, "it is painful but it is the only way" It wasn't until I was on my way home that the full vibration of his words met with my souls truth and my spine shook. I realized that this is what my soul has been guiding me towards my whole life.
My earliest memory of my heart/soul connection was while I was in my mothers womb. My soul met her soul, and a feeling of pure love washed over me like I had never felt before. I fell in love for the first time... with my mother right there inside her womb. I clearly remember feeling like she was my most beautiful experience. My physical and energetic heart opened like a lotus flower in that moment.
I now understand that living life with an open heart and striving to remain this way requires one to encounter much pain. It all makes sense to me now. The deep heart pain that I have experienced since leaving the safe sacred place of my mothers womb, at times has felt like more than I could bear. I can remember painful heart experiences in my early childhood, my teenage years, twenties and now thirties. To be honest after my most recent painful heart experience, for the first time I felt this energy centre closing - not sure if it wanted to open again. But I now know better.
I was about seven years old when late one night my parents called my sister and I into their bedroom to see on the television what was happening on the other side of the world. There was a devastating famine happening in Ethiopia and hundreds of thousands of our human and animal family were dying. I will never forget the feeling that rose up in my heart that night, it was the fire of my passion. To me it felt like a flower wilting and dying in my heart, spiritual destruction yet determination to bloom again. I made a vow in that moment to change that. That being spiritual destruction. I believe this was the beginning of the conscious intention of my work. Love others through their pain to support the resurrection of their spirit.
It has not always been easy, especially when I am met with resistance or rejection, and especially when others are not able to make this shift into openness. I sometimes find it hard to let go and walk away while remaining open, but I am learning that I must. Not all of us will make this transition into open hearted beings, it is a choice.
I have caused my fair share of pain to those I love and those that have loved me as well. This in itself if a painful reality to face, but I source deep growth from this knowing and in turn aim my love higher, wider and with less conditions.
Yesterday I was a witness to the birth of a passionate soul that entered in the body of a baby girl. As Doula I was able to support her mother and father in the preparation of her coming. Her arrival was a gift to us all, and especially a gift of healing for me. She reopened the door to my heart and I am so grateful. Coming in as a teacher in the light of open hearted being, her presence was so blinding it took my breath away.
I will continue to do this work that I know I have come to do. Love-spirit-open-assist-passage-channel-root.
I know I will continue to be challenged throughout this journey to move through my own hindrances, but I have no choice. I give myself no choice. As Martin says "an open heart is a weapon - use it"
Ashe Martin, Ashe, and to baby girl Rav todot.